for a city of 8 million+ people,
and the largest metropolitan area in the country
this place doesn't have SHIT open late at night
seryusly
the only place i've found open all night is a starbucks
and a really, REALLY shady 'internet cafe' near my apartment
c'mon new yawk, get it the fuck together
i can do more things at midnight in east lansing than i can here
and that just reflects badly on you
halloween was this past weekend [obviously]
and i have to say, the costumes i saw were kind of disappointing
i contribute that to two different factors:
first, i have to go through fucking williamsburg to get to the city
which means i had to see all the hipster 'costumes' that were out
talk about an unimaginative bunch
second, i spent most of saturday/sunday in the east and west villages
and there's a lot of hipsters/college students/yuppie fuckers there
and they aren't the most original bunch
not in this city, anyway
so there were lots of repeats
lots of stock costumes that were obviously bought in the same store
it was a big ol' clusterfuck of fail
i did, however, see one awesome costume on my travels
[and by travels, i mean across the street from where i live]
i saw a chinese kurt cobain, accompanied by requisite grunge groupie
best part? he was signing nirvana songs while he was walking
and there is nothing funnier than hearing 'lithium' in a thick chinese accent
'i so happy,
cuz today i foun my fwends
dey're in mah head
i so ugly,
dat's okay cuz so are yooou
broke awr mirrows
sunday morning is eveyday
for awl ah care'
i about pissed myself i laughed so hard
and finally,
a note on these fucking hipsters
WILL YOU LOOK AT THESE FUCKING HIPSTERS?
i have to see them every goddamn day on the subway
and i do mean every day, in droves
that's the beauty of going through williamsburg the long way
it just gives them more time to get on
and then i have to go through the lower east to my connection
which means i go through their manhattan haven,
so i get to see even more of them
it's bad enough i have to look at them
with their weird fucking fashion and terrible haircuts
coupled with tedious discussion and 'ironic' music taste
they're like fucking cockroaches, man
i bet if brooklyn got nuked,
these scrawny bastards would start poking up out of the rubble
talking about how 'meta' everything is
i don't care if i sound like a crotchety old man
i make friends with people of all types
and i let people make their own lifestyle choices
there's a guy in this program who's so punk he's actually crusty
and yet, he's a great guy, so i don't give a shit
i know people of all walks of life
but goddamned if there isn't something about them that boils my blood
every time i see one of them reading kerouac or jung or hemingway,
i just wanna reach out and choke a bitch
you how bad they are?
they make me miss emo kids
yeah, fucking emo kids
i would rather deal with people in black nail polish,
overly–done eye makeup with black swooshy hair to match
bitching about their pitiful existences and listening to hawthorne heights
having to suffer through terrible, angsty teenage poetry
and hearing them complain about getting called 'goth'
than deal with these fucking hipsters
maybe it's cuz emos are less assuming, and aren't aloof about it
with them, you just don't understand one person's pain
[you don't know what it's like to be me]
with hipsters, you just don't understand anything
[you don't get irony, do you?/have you ever read anything so meta?]
overly–judgmental lofty pricks
so be warned, droves and droves of people i know who want to come here,
new york isn't at all bread and roses, happiness and joy, grunge and sorrow
there's also fucking hipsters here, too
and you're gonna have to deal with them
and you're gonna hate every fucking second of it
i don't think i'll ever be able to complain about msu hipsters again
they just don't cut it, as far as hipsters go
they're like shallow shells of could–be hipness
at least, armed with the knowledge i now possess,
i can start knocking them down a couple pegs
break enough of their souls to get them to shut the hell up
be warned, e/l hipsters: i come for you
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