a place to call my own

okay, so here's the end of the cliffhanger i promised:

i come back from work tuesday night [the one before thanksgiving],
i got the mail in one hand, my bag hanging off my shoulder,
and am ready to pass the fuck out, since it's 11 pm by this point
i open the door, flip the light switch...
AND NOTHING HAPPENS
after an under–the–breath '...the fuck?', i try it again
and again, nothing fucking happens
at this point i look around, and the entire apartment is pitch black
my alarm clock's off, the fridge isn't running, the tv box is black
so at this point, it's pretty obvious that the power was turned off
but, it was only in my apartment
at this point i'm really fucking pissed and confused
since there's no reason for this too be happening,
and drop my shit on the floor
at that point, i remembered that there was mail,
so i checked to see if there was anything for me [by way of the hallway light]

in this mail stack, there's a letter from a lawyer,
addressed to some guy who doesn't live there anymore,
listing him as a 'plaintiff' in a law case
i rip the top off it to see what the fuck this was about,
and scan through the letter
in brief, this is what it said:
'hey jackass,
you ran up a HUGE electric bill in winter of 2009
and you never paid it
conedison is pissed the hell off,
since they've been trying to contact you for payment,
and you haven't responded
so they got a lawyer involved [that's me!]
and i've been authorized by a judge to cut your power
so, you can either agree to a payment plan,
pay in full along with my lawyer fee,
or you can live in the dark for the foreseeable future
kthxbai!'

fucking jerk

so, i called my roommate,
who, of course, is in another fucking state
just my luck right?
[for the record, this is normal: she's a flight attendant]
she says she'll call the lawyer guy to get everything straightened out
and apologizes profusely
i slog through it for the night, wake up the next morning,
and get on the train to spend thanksgiving with my family

fast forward five days:
i get a call from my roommate
she says she's called the lawyer guy and talked with him
apparently, it takes a lot more than 'this guy doesn't live here,
i do, i can fucking prove it, now turn my goddamn power back on'
to get these people do anything, we'd have to pay the fees
so this jackass basically gets off with not paying his bill
we get stuck with huge fucking fine,
and the landlord won't do shit about it
[yeah, that guy's a fucking pip]

at first i think i can live with it,
since i only have three weeks left in the city at this point,
and it's really more an inconvenience than anything else
and then i discover that i no longer have hot water:
it only takes one hypothermia–inducing shower to convince me,
'get the fuck out of here now'
so i called up some friends and called in some favors
and, in a move that is completely antithetical to my typical tagg luck,
someone has a spare room i can stay in for the rest of my time in nyc
so i pack up all my stuff, clean the apartment, leave the keys
and got the fuck up out of there

so now, i'm sitting in my new temporary abode,
which is lit, has warm water, and is heated
thank god someone took me in
i can only imagine living there for another three weeks


so, yeah, that was my week in a nutshell
how bout you guys?